The other night, my friend and I were in the toilets at the
Establishment (http://merivale.com.au/establishmentbar/),
and we were accosted by one such female patron. She fell in love with my GF’s
trendy apparel (http://withlovefroml.blogspot.com.au/2012/06/friends-come-and-go-but-for-precious.html).
Like any other female conversation, it inevitably led to the topic of men and
post, present and potentials were all discussed. This woman’s theory was, have
many options and make a few select choices from the group.
Collect and Select. We loved it! Her honest, no BS, simplistic view that men
were there to be acquired like coins and then put to good use when you had
selected which ones you wanted to save or discard, was refreshing and hilarious.
The problem is most women fall too easily and can’t distance
themselves from their feelings. This is due to a hormone called Oxytocin, which
is the reason why women get so clingy after sex: “women's brains differ from
men's brains. Women have more oxytocin and vasopressin, brain chemicals that
promote bonding, and attachments; whereas men have more testosterone, a brain
chemical that promotes action and sex. As a result, women like to talk and
process things emotionally, whereas men like to do things” (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-doc/201110/shes-just-too-needy).
So here are 10 things not to do so you can have a little fun without
the inevitable heartache that comes with getting attached:
10 Things - How Not To Like Them
10 Things - How Not To Like Them
1.
Never imagine your future with him
Girls love to fast forward. They imagine romantic getaways, intimate dinners, sleepy Sundays with movies and cuddles. DON’T! Let me tell
you, guys NEVER think about this. Unless he is one of rare finds that have hit
that ‘I’m ready to settle down’ phase (1 in a 100), he is never going to be
thinking about you in your sweats, eating pizza and watching a romcom on the
first few dates. Just look at him as exactly what he is, a fun-filled activity
for that night or day and that’s it!
2.
Don’t see him more than once a week
Women grow attached far quicker
than men do and this is escalated by multiple meet over a short period of time. You’ll find that after a few days of no contact, the novelty and
excitement of the date wears off and you are content to just be and not over
analyse the previous or next date, which is more than a couple of days away. Or obsess about when he is next going to contact you.
3.
Don’t expect him to call/text
If you go into it with your eyes
wide open and know that your overall objective is to have fun and not jump
into a relationship, then you don’t want to speak to him for a few days. Even
if he texts, remember this is not a relationship, so reply
(don’t be rude), but leave it at that. No question at the end, engaging him to text back and forth. Just reply, say thanks, good to see him and
catch up soon. Also, if he doesn’t text, you aren’t completely shredded because
you didn’t expect it, and the power and your pride stays in your control.
4.
Don’t call/text him every day or even several
times a week
If you do want to see him again
(for purely fun and no strings attached reasons), don’t text several times a
week. Text him when you want to meet up, make the plans and then leave it.
Front of mind means emotions are involved. Quickly thought about and quickly
forgotten is the aim.
5.
Don’t introduce him to your group
Not only does this reek, “I want
you to be my boyfriend”, but it’s also a sure way of disclosing to the world
that you are falling for him. Keep him to yourself, why share the fun? A few
friends is fine, as it means you can go out and be social but be careful of
inviting him to a BBQ with your whole network there. If he is a mutual friend, then you treat him like every other mate. No difference.
6.
Don’t invite him around for Sunday couch times
Sundays are the most depressing
day of the week. More than likely you’re tired after a heavy weekend of
socialising and are man down with pre-Monday blues, especially during the cold
months of winter. DO NOT, I repeat, do not invite him over because you are
feeling vulnerable and wouldn’t mind a cuddle. A lot of sports play on a Sunday
and men like their ‘me time’ too at the end of their weekends. It’s a sure way
to indicate you are into them as you’re inviting them into your personal space.
Dead giveaway! Plus Sundays are for junk food and movies with gal-pals and the
special someone, not just one of the ‘fun buddies’.
7.
Don’t ever invite him to do menial things
I feel like I shouldn’t even need
to say this but some women don’t know… No boyfriend, let alone a ‘fun buddy’,
likes to come along to pick up dry cleaning or shopping for ANYTHING. Unless
the guy is completely into you, and even then it’s iffy, he will detest being
dragged about doing random, unenjoyable stuff with you.
8.
Don’t get him involved in the mundane activities
of your life.
Don’t go on about how horrible
your boss is or how irritating your girlfriend was. He doesn’t care. He won’t
remember half the time and 9/10 times he’s only half listening. Engage him on
the things you both like? Talk about what interests you, sport, holiday
destinations and opinions on things you’re both passionate about, just keep the
topic neutral.
So ladies, if you haven’t cracked the dating scene then not
to worry as the single scene holds a plethora of fun and exciting prospects to
have fun with! Sydney is full of them! Just jump right in and maybe you will
actually find a pearl when you least expect it!
