"Sometimes... when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing" ~ Ally McBeal

Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and Arial were my childhood companions. I cherished the moments I spent with them; long hours of listening and learning from those idyllic women who comforted and lulled me off to sleep with their melodic voices. I adored them as only a rosy-cheeked child, devoid of the taints of the world, could. Yet… I sit now and think how much have we been affected by these fairytales? Not from the idea of magic, beasts and fairies but because of the inept ability to prepare us for the real world.

Prince Eric and Hercules

Every girl dreams of her ‘Prince Charming’, whether he be fair of face, strong of body or sharp of mind, we all search for that ‘perfect’ man. But the question I ask is, are we setting ourselves up for disappointment? I am not saying not to have high expectations, this is a must, but whether having that eternal soul mate objective leads more to a disheartened princess ever waiting for her knight to save her from her distinctive peril.

I bring this up as lately I have found several princes… in parts. One was kind, the other considerate, there was a good-looking royal, a crowned monarch with a taste for laughter and spontaneity and then there was the king of brains. BUT none of these were found in one specific male. Prince Kind was idiotic, Prince Handsome was arrogant and conceited, Prince Fun was unreliable and Prince Wise was far from fare.

Of course Hollywood and Disney groom their male leads to the point of glisteningly perfection. Model ready for that pedestal that we place so many unobtainable heartthrobs on. Without meaning to though, we carry that need for perfection through to our every day male desires. Only to come up disappointed by what we cant find.

I have very few friends that are happily married with their one true love and many whom have settled because the longevity of the relationship became comfort, comfort became normality and normality became stability for them. Are they happy? I think content (dare I say bored) may be a better way of describing them. A few years ago I turned my nose up at this approach to relationships but now I question it as possibly better choice.

Does holding out for the man of our dreams mean we risk becoming the old cat lady on the 6^th floor with only our own regrets to keep us company on the cold winter nights? The alternative would be Samantha from Sex in the city, successful and never shy of a partner on those chilly evenings. Neither one appeals to me very much but it does make me question whether the pursuit for perfection is undoubtedly the quest for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And idea. A fairytale. One with which we toy with, but one that never really solidifies.

All those boxes that we look to be ticked by the ideal male will never be filled. Whether he is the ultimate sports god, so good looking a mirror melts or is the next Einstein, there will be something wrong with him. Finding a good looking guy who is sensitive, caring, considerate, mucho, athletic, intelligent, great in the sack and puts you first is, lets be honest, just not going to happen. So… what means more to you in a partner? If he wakes you up every morning with your favourite tea and rubs your aching feet every night but is a terrible lover with appalling dress sense and health habits that even pigs would raise their eyes at, will he do? Or what about a guy who treats you well and that spoils you rotten but has no career and has a knack for always getting into trouble when he goes out? I guess it comes down to what are you willing to compromise on. Mr. Average or Mr. Good at some things but terrible at others.  Do we run the risk of never finding Mr. Right and settling for Mr. You’ll do? I’ll let you know…